bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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