chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
