Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
