I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The uberlube is also flammable
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
