Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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