dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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