life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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