Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
