If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
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