Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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