I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
