why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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