My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
