I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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