whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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