I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
