Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
