ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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