What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
