i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize