I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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