he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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