I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize