dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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