I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
