Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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