there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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