I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
