That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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