Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize