well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
