Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
