She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Randomize