On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
