Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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