I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
