my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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