she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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