mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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