Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
