Porn is love you can see.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
