i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
