Welp...herpes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
