I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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