the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
