He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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