I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
