cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Everclear isn't food dammit
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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