Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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