My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
