Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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