Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
