Just cropdusted the office
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
