Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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