it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
