Say something about gay babies.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
