Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
