I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
