i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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