What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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