My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it because I queefed?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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