thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
