Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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