A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
