you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
