I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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