Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
