On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
