You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
