I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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