If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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