well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
