D3 body, D1 cock
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
