It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
