i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
