Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
