I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you win again, gameday.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You made out with two different species that night
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
